I woke up this morning and there she was standing in the middle of my bedroom, staring at me. She must have been happy to see me because she had a big smile on her face. Even though I hadn’t invited her over; there she was, ready or not: 2010 was here in all her glory welcoming me into her strange, new world. This is a true story… mostly.
The New Year has a way of just showing up in people’s lives without their permission. Even though the calendar has been warning us all year long, it just seems sort of sudden to have to deal with this whole ‘new year’ thing so soon after Christmas. But whether you’re prepared for it or not the New Year is always very serious about arriving at the appointed time.
So here we are in the year 2010 and while we’re here we might as well make the most of it. After years of careful study, experimentation and plenty of trial and error I have uncovered the secrets to making your New Year a success. And for the low price of only $19.99 I would be happy to share this information with you. Ok I’m just kidding, this one is on the house, and we can call it my New Years gift to you. Now pay close attention and follow these instructions and you’re bound to have an awesome 2010.
1. It is very important to be politically correct in the New Year, so please make sure that you pronounce 2010 correctly. It’s ‘twenty-ten’ not ‘two-thousand and ten’ unless you’re at some type of ceremony honoring nuclear physicists or some other nerdy types.
2. Be grateful. There’s a pretty good chance that Christmas put you into a hole that you’ll still be digging your way out of in February, but look at the bright side – you’re not the only one who overdid it… again. Most importantly you have to remember that you are now among an elite group of people privileged enough to have woke up this morning and witnessed the dawning of a brand new year. A great many people were not so fortunate.
3. Just Say No to resolutions, and say yes to ‘real-utions’. Resolutions are very often seeds planted with good intention which yield a harvest of self-disappointment. Year after year millions of people make very realistic promises to themselves to climb Mount Everest, discover a cure for Cancer or build snowmen in the desert. They attack these resolutions with all the intensity of a three year old with a bowl of Jell-O pudding in front of him only to find themselves a few weeks or months later reviewing their poor progress and subconsciously sending a message like this to themselves: “You failed again, Mister Failure. How does that failure feel this time?” This may sound funny to some people but consider the effects of a decade or so of facing the New Year in this manner. Resolutions are becoming an almost guaranteed set-up for starting off the year feeling bad about yourself, and who really wants that? Not me and hopefully not you either. That is why there will be no resolutions for me this year. This year I am setting ‘real-utions’ or realistic goals for myself such as: I will exercise less this year. I will not eat healthier. I will not save money this year. I’m not going to try and be a better friend, husband, parent or neighbor; and I am definitely not going to clean up that cluttered garage of mine. And that special project that I’ve been promising to finish working on for the past three months, there is no way that I am going to finish it, especially not in this New Year.
Whew. I feel so much better now. I feel empowered, like the weight of the world has been lifted up from off my neck and shoulders. The most important part of this method is that now we can end the cycle of broken promises to ourselves. This year we can simply love ourselves as we are for a change. And the BONUS is that if we fail this year – we still win! When you think about it this is the simplest plan in the world – all you have to do is ‘whatever you want to do’ – which; when you think about it, is exactly what you’re going to do anyway. I’m just eliminating the guilt, worry, stress and potential low self esteem.
Now that we’re all set and have a firm grasp on this whole Big Bad New Year thing, I’m going to have to be running along. I’ve made plans to join a friend of mine for breakfast this morning, we’re going to have the fruit salad bar and then we’re heading off to the YMCA to hit the treadmills.
I know what you’re thinking – but this is NOT a resolution. I’m not doing this because I have to, I’m doing it because I want to.
DrewPillow.com 